Ah, Friday

It's been a challenging year, work-wise, world-wise. Today really feels like Friday, and I'm offering a big EXHALE.

• Evil, Inc. remains evil, but there are moments. Today wasn't the worst day. I was able to get a little something extra for my peeps, and that makes me happy.

• The Event is so boring. Deleted from my list and my DVR.

• I'm reading Towers of Midnight. I just thought about it, and I've been reading this series for 11 years. Love it, don't care how long it takes.

• I just tried the annual Fade to Black offering from Left Hand. It's just as wonderful as last years, and gets 4 out of 5 nipples from me. I don't love that much smoke, but otherwise, MWAH!

• Sly B and I kill at Beatles Rock Band. You all should see her on the drums, yo, and I can play the bass JUST LIKE Paul. Ish.

Still Reeling

Every time I return from a work trip, I feel like I've been beaten up. I guess every time, I kinda am. Among my list of woes this time is an ankle, previously healed, once again swollen to about 3 times its normal size.

Why does this job - take away all of the factors I bring to the table - have to be so stressful? I've worked at a lot of places, but nowhere as long as Evil, Inc. I wonder if all companies like this one are similar in dysfunction and employee behavior. I tend to assume that they are, but damn, the backbiting and sniping in my group is pretty astounding.

I resolve to take a big step back from work people. Another big step back, that is -- this isn't my first clue to things. I can't be friends with everyone I work with, which makes my job less enjoyable but my mental health a little more tolerable.

Random Random

• I love Spring.

• I bought a MacBook and am converted. How did I live these 38 years?

• Evil, Inc. just banned a little more joy for its employees.

• Sly B and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary. We've been tattooed and everything to mark the occasion. I'm not entirely sure what I've done to deserve this, or why she puts up with me, but I'm going with it. Here's to 10 more, love. Speaking of this anniversary, there isn't an official date for the occasion, as some people have asked, because we are not gay-married. Even though we don't plan on marching down a same-sex aisle any time soon, or ever, we applaud CT, MA, IA, and VT. Lots of queers want to get married and I say, go for it Mary!
  

Long Time, No Random

• We bought and watched BSG: Caprica. I LOVED it. I would recommend it as a nice stand-alone prequel to BSG, or even a stand-alone movie. It reveals the origin on the Cylon, and explains why they do what they do. I look forward to the series. Also, I love Esai Morales.

• Despite the smartest chicks I know telling me to watch Grey Gardens (the HBO movie), I haven't done it yet. We will catch it this weekend when my mom-out-law is here.

• Evil, Inc. is so very evil.

• CUNY Staten Island tried to censor a production of Holly Hughes' play The Well of Horniness. What year is it?
  

Gratitude

I woke up with a screaming headache this morning, so decided to follow Sly B's lead and think about a few things for which I am grateful at this moment.

• Sly B rocks.

• Sly B and I slept last night! Slept in! I think we got 9 hours in. It was light outside when we got up!
  

• Today marks 9 years at Evil, Inc., and while I bitch and moan a lot about the company and the bosses there, I feel very fortunate to have this good-paying job. It allows us to, for instance, be able to call someone to come and fix our broken pellet stove tomorrow.

• We have eggs in the fridge, so don't have to go anywhere before breakfast.
  

• I have a brand new Wander Radio episode downloaded on my iPod!
  

2 Days Down, 6 Days To Go

I'm surviving one of the most stressful Evil, Inc. events of the year, this weekend/next week. I am host to about 170 of the consultants for the company and customers, many of whom are also friends of mine going on 10 years now. Every year, there is a certain flavor to the event that stands out right from the beginning. This year's: people are weird.

The major portion of the meeting starts today. I'm up super early, running on about 3 1/2 hours of sleep, but feel relatively good. This is the first of these meetings (#10 for me) that I haven't run my body off of a mainline of the caffeine/nicotine/alcohol engine that keeps you up just long enough - say 22 hours a day - and allows you to pass out and sleep for the rest. It's a new concept for me. I will say that my lungs are thanking me this morning - that was the first thing I noticed. The other thing I noticed this morning when I sat bolt upright at 4 a.m. was that I didn't need to stumble to the aspirin before doing anything else. Huh, THAT'S what made that happen. Aha.

Random Thoughts

• My friends K & J left for Washington, DC today. I will miss your nearness, and I wish you both the very best. If anyone deserves good things, it's y'all. We never got that coffee, yo. Maybe in the next go-round?

• Evil, Inc. is such a mess. I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. Of course, given recent events, I might be frog marched out the door at any given moment. Whatever. Honestly.

• I'm in an Aimee Mann phase. I love her. She has been exactly where I am right now - or at least that's how I feel when I listen to her songs.

• I continue my project that is myself. Some days it's easier than others.
  

• I've got a big annual meeting/training coming up next week that will have me busy for about 8 days without rest. It's always a difficult and stressful time for me. My plan this year is to spend as much time writing and talking to friends as I can. Get prepared! I head for the very fancy Denver hotel next Thursday.
  

In Which I Sound Sort of Crazy on a Second Reading

I am feeling scattered tonight, yet still want to write a little. Diary blogging, dedicated to Jack Mangan.

I have a million revelations just bubbling on the surface.

I have a ongoing project that is myself to pick back up and improve upon.

I struggle against falling into relationships that harm me, with people who wish me ill.

I sound like my situation is dire. It is not. I revel in the love that has come into my life and am thankful for it. I'm not sure why I deserve it, and I strive to not take it for granted.

And on a much lighter note:

• James Lee Burke is quickly becoming one of my favorite writers. The man can spin a tale, he writes about cops and bad guys, his books are set in Louisiana, and his language is poetic and gorgeous. I'm currently reading Tin Roof Blowdown, and loving it. It's a love letter to New Orleans if I ever read one.

• I was underwhelmed by the Heroes premier this week. Granted, I did watch it this morning while emailing back and forth with a crazy person at Evil, Inc. before 7 a.m., but I just didn't find myself impressed. I do love Kristin Bell's character, Elle. I'll keep watching for her. I miss Veronica Mars. My least favorite part of the premier: Suresh's voice-overs. Someone's superpower hopefully is making him shut up in episode 2.
  

• Speaking of Evil, Inc.: my boss spelled my 4-letter long name wrong today in two emails; I was accused of purposefully preventing children in Alabama from learning; and I tried to squeeze a $150K budget into a $40K package for my boss (I got to $50K). 2Rays didn't suggest charging for getting anyone off today, though, so we had that going for us.
  

Two Things

One: This is an actual conversation that I had with my boss today.
Boss - I realize how stressful your job is, and how hard. I saw a show the other day on the Discovery Channel about baboons. The ones in the middle of the pack who don't have all the responsibility -- the ones who have lots of people telling them what to do, but still have people answerable to them -- have the most stressful positions.
Me - Uh . . .
Boss - I mean, well, I'm, um, you know, not calling you a baboon!
Me - Uh . . .

Two: I am not a sentimental person. Lately, though, since the death of a good man, I have tears at the drop of a hat. Tonight, I was driving home listening to the Slice of SciFi podcast and crying like an idiot. The subject? George Takei got married to his longtime male partner. . . . Listen, I KNOW - you don't have to tell me. I've said here before that I don't even necessarily want queers to get married. I am suddenly more capable of appreciating the moments that make this life worth living, and this moment was one of them for some reason. Look at the pictures and read the vows on the page I linked above and see if you don't think it's fucking beautiful. I'm crying again! Perfect. It's obvious to me that Steve dying has opened my teary eyes to a lot of things lately. I wish I could thank him for that.

Friday Night - Ahh

This was one of those weeks where I felt like I was taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back at every turn.

I am sure glad the work part of it has come to an end. Evil, Inc. is super dysfunctional, as ever. I asked for more money for my employees and myself, or some help, and was fed a steaming dish of horseshit in response. No surprise, of course. I'm not naive -- at least they can't say that!

Outside of work, it was a sad kind of week, with lots of reflection and feeling grateful for what Sly B and I have. We are very lucky. I don't know why we've been allowed so much happy time together, but the luck of it is not lost on us.

Now, I'm sitting with my aching foot up and a extra bitter beer in my hand. I think things are looking up. AND, Sly and I have an entire weekend alone, which I'm saying here so in six months when we wonder when it last happened, I can look it up. Per Janet's suggestion, I want to get some dominoes and play w/ my girl. I think 2Rays made a few decent suggestions not fit for print too . . .

Random

• I'm back to home alone Monday nights. Sly B is back at the mariachi for the Fall.
  

• Tonight is the first night of the season during which I had to light the pellet stove. Brr!

• My DVR is getting pretty clogged with shows. I have Generation Kill, Primeval, and Mad Men sitting and waiting patiently for me. Sorry, shows, but The Shield just started and I've gotta find out what Vic is up to. This is one of my favorite shows ever.
  

• True Blood premiered last night and I really liked it. I can't wait to see what they do with this really fun series of books.

• Some white folks are really lame. If you need an explanation on why women of color would need an exclusive space, you are not paying attention to the world around you. Open your eyes.

• Okay, lots to do tonight -- gotta work. Oh, and speaking of work: Evil, Inc. blows.
  

What Is Wrong With These People??

So I'm watching W's speech at the RNC. The crowd is going wild. It freaks me out that these people are willing to act like they love him so much (and we know they don't -- his approval ratings are grim, yo).

The reason I should vote for McCain is because he wants to keep the troops in Iraq? Srsly?

Also, Amy Goodman is a goddess. If you haven't seen the video of her arrest, check it out. I don't think they know who they are fucking with.

Okay, I'm exhausted from a very bad day at work. I can't handle too many more of those, in case any one is wondering. I'll stop there for the night.

This Really Happened

Me: "Hi, boss. Just calling to let you know that I'm home. There was a huge natural gas leak today, and were sent home."

Him: "WHO told you to go home??"

Me: "The firemen, and the biggest boss on the premises."

Him: "Wow, that's awful. I just heard you all could have been back working by now. Next time, call me okay?"

Me: "Uh . . . "

Him: "Well, I guess it's better safe than sorry . . . "

Me: "Uh . . . "

Him: "Well, talk to you later!"

I can't make this up

Today at Evil, Inc., I witnessed something that left me speechless for a few minutes. No, not the odd woman wiping down all the handles on our floor with bleach -- that was weird, this is disgusting.

Today, on a conference call, I heard THE boss decide that we will use a certain assessment to test a group of troubled High School Freshmen INSTEAD OF the one our experts recommended because we have extras of the former. I heard this MBA speak, completely out of his depth, to literacy assessment and student placement to save a few bucks. It was horrifying.

So, children of large American city, sorry about that. You may very well be placed incorrectly in the curriculum that could change your life because we want to clear out the warehouse. I'm sure you understand.

Corporate gluttony. I can't stand it. I really can't.

Random

• Here are a few things you will never hear me say: "made of win", "can haz", "welcome up", "folks" (unless I am talking about my parents), and definitely not "welcome up folks". I'm sure this list will grow.

• I am totally convinced that Evil, Inc., or The Deathstar as some prefer to call it, is run by completely incompetent men. I predict that by this time last year, I'll be working elsewhere.

• We got a Craft Pack from JW Dundee's Brewery. Man, good beer, that. I highly recommend their APA, their IPA, and their Amber Lager. I think that Sly B preferred their Honey Brown the best.
  

• My least favorite LOST character? Shannon.

• I'm missing Sly B tonight.
  

Friday Night Random

• My babe loves Fletch. I never got that movie.

• Evil, Inc. was almost too much to bear this week. Today I was asked who I wanted to be my boss, which I thought was hilarious. The reason? HR is writing an org chart and I can't NOT have a boss. Good a reason as any, I guess.

• I am very close to the end of my Sookie book and my Robert Jordan audiobook. I can't wait to finish either.
  

• Tonight: reading and maybe a little Olympics.

• My friend lost her dad yesterday. I'm thinking about her and life and how fortunate Sly B and I are.
  

Monday Giddy

Today:

• Work sucked. What a crapfest.

• Happy bday Les.

• We're gonna eat dinner now, and then go see The Dark Knight. I'm jazzed.

• Sly B is so hot, she just finished reading The Watchmen. Ooh, baby.
  

TGIF

If today was not Friday, I'd be crying. Thank the cylon god that there's only one more day of work ahead of me before the weekend.

Evil, Inc. is particularly evil this week. Today I have conference calls about 3 or 4 completely irrelevant things. Well, they are about egos, so I guess that is something.

We're really looking forward to the weekend. Heading South.

Besides Evil, Inc. today: gonna try to rush through getting ready and either watch an episode of Lost or finish my book before work; will catch up on Freak Angels today at lunch; looking forward to walking after work; will watch more Eureka on DVD tonight so we're ready for next week's Season 3 premier. That's the bright side. Yeah.

Business or Politics?

I am exhausted by both. Tonight, I went to a business dinner and listened to 3 Republicans tell me and the other sensible person at the table why Obama was scary. Then, talk turned to work topics. Both conversation topics were like torture. Next time, I think I'll opt for a pap smear and skip the business dinner.

Leaving the restaurant, I saw a car with a "Anyone but Obama" bumper sticker on it. Nice.

I think it's time to enjoy my evening!

This & That

• I wrote earlier here that I loved Twitter. I have lost my love. The social networking site seems to be a place for very minor new media celebrities to talk rudely to their fans, and to "tweet" an endless barrage of masturbatory drivel. Totally uncool. I still pop in occasionally to read what a few friends have to say, and to catch up on Warren Ellis and Wil Wheaton, who are very fun to follow. Now that I think about it, I think maybe I should go in and clear out the list of who I follow to just include that group.

• Evil, Inc. sucks so hard. Today I spent an hour in a meeting with my betters planning for something that will never happen. By salaries, the meeting cost the company approximately $5,000. I answered for the 800th time in that meeting what I "felt" was going to happen with revenue. Honestly douchebags, I "feel" like you don't pay me enough money to answer that question.
  

• Last night, we watched the premier of Weeds, which we enjoy a little in spite of the racism and crappy plastic surgery, and Secret Diary of a Call Girl, which I'm not too sure about yet.

• The gay marriage thing in California is a bummer. On the one hand, I am super happy for queers who want to get married -- go crazy. On the other hand, look at the bigots crawling out of the woodwork now. Please, please Obama, don't say something homophobic. I know you're going to have to take a position on this, but don't go all Bill Clinton in '92 on us. Do ask; DO tell. I found out today that an online buddy thinks that gay marriage is "nonsense." I was disappointed. I did not engage. He said so respectfully, and I respectfully decline to comment.
  

• Tonight, we're going to watch last night's Bones rerun. Love that show. Don't know why we stopped watching it late in season 1. David Boreanaz could investigate my crime scene any day.

• The yummy Avery beer I was too lazy to look into last night is their 14er. It's yummy. 9 out of 10 nipples. Try some if you can find it. It's a nice malty fizzy with a little bit of substance behind it. I call it a good summer beer.

• I just started reading Grave Peril, Book 3 in Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series. These books are addictive. I can see myself in the imperfect Harry, and love him for it.

• Deadpan is the mother fucking way.

• Sly B gave me an early (by 10 days) birthday present tonight. It's a pound of 100% pure Kona coffee. Very decadent. Tomorrow morning, we're gonna breakfast like Brad and Angelina, okay love? Included in the package was a gorgeous coffee mug that I'll try to snap a picture of and post here later on.