Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Dear Little Brother,

Mom and Dad aren't going to be around forever. If you don't pull your head out of your ass, it's going to be too late to fix this.

Your fundamentalist beliefs, while creepy, are none of my business. If you want to spend your free time "bearing a cross" or whatever it is you like to do now, go on with it. Just stop making the rest of us watch.

Here's a few lessons from us heathens:
  • Do unto others. In other words, if you don't want your daughters to break your heart in 25 years, start treating your parents with a little respect. I don't care what you think about me and Sly B, but give mom and dad a break.
  • As a minimum, show some tolerance for the people in your life. If you don't like dad's smoking, politely ask him to go outside. Don't berate him in front of your beastly spouse.
  • It's fine that we don't speak to each other. I actually prefer it to the heartbreak. But call mom once in a while. And treat dad like he provided a decent home for us, because he did. They don't ask for much, and it's easy to thrill them and make them feel important.
  • I can see that you think that your faith is superior to my lack of faith. Okay, you win. Now never tell me about it again. I don't need to hear about the narrow gateway to heaven, the righteous path of a husband, or the awesome responsibility of Christ ever again.
  • Life is short, dude. You're wasting yours. Live, stop bitching. If the life you've chosen doesn't work, make a new one. Tick-tock, man.
In closing, I do love you, and I think it's a shame that your girls don't know me and Sly B. We are awesome aunties. Ask our other 9 nieces/nephews. When this fog clears in your brain, you know how to get ahold of me, brother.



2raysmama said...

Woah. Nicely said. It might be worth popping into an email, sans the beastly spouse part, of course.

EssBee said...

Thanks, 2rays. I doubt I'll send this. Just needed to get it out of my head.


Sly B said...

We've now lost 2.5 brothers to madness of Christian fundamentalism. There is a half there, because there is still hope for my youngest brother - who seems to have mellowed out some since the birth of his first two children. EssBee's brother wrote a whopper of an email to his parents that is one of the most unChristian things I've ever read. While his unexcusable behavior toward his amazing, tolerant, lovely parents makes me sad, the part that rips out my heart is that EssBee (his only sister) is no longer even worth his hate spewing because she is queer. What is so great about a religion that teaches followers to hate? To rip their families apart? EssBee is so eloquent in her ire. It'd just like to tell him - Fuck You. We still have eons to be great aunties to his girls. They have "tattoo funds" waiting for them when they hit their teens and claw their way out of the fundamentalist goo their parents brought them up in.