Control

EssBee has alluded to family tension that has erupted since the death of my granpda. As I've been attempting to make heads or tails of it and figure out how I can stay out of the mess while supporting my mom, something occurred to me today. I think much of the stress and strain has been a result of people's expectations not being met. Something I always hear adults tell kids is - "Don't worry about (sibling, friend, parent). Worry about yourself." This is a result many times of the child getting all frustrated and whiny/angry/tantrum-y over a situation the child has no control over. I'm beginning to think that as we become adults our lives don't really get more complicated, we just quit listening to the advice we are destined to dole out to youngsters ourselves. I'm realizing that many times when I get hurt or angry it's because the person in question didn't react that way I thought they would, or hoped they would. Then when our expectations have not been met, or if someone didn't act exactly the way I envisioned they would, I get all hurt/angry/frustrated. What if we all just took each other at face value? What if instead of getting upset at people and right away having our feelings hurt, we could just appreciate the people in our lives for who they are? There has to be a middle road to this, because I think it could go overboard if we are connected to people who are destructive in some way or another and effect our lives. At the same time, it would be much more peaceful, to appreciate people, remember how much we love them, and then move on. Worry about ourselves. Handle our own sh!t. Now, ask me if I could do this with my boss when he asks me to smell his breath to make sure it doesn't stink...