Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Adjustment Experiment

Staff meetings at my job are excruciating. My boss has big ideas and holds meetings to "get people's input". This basically means, people give their opinions and he tells them why they're wrong. I've learned to travel to my happy place during these meetings and often find myself contemplating life experiences. Our staff consists of 3 people - me (female) and 2 males. I do not understand the phenomenon myself, but I'm sure everyone is aware of it - men cannot keep their hands off of their frank and beans. It doesn't matter where or what they're engaged in, if the boys need adjustment, they adjust them (I assume it's a balls thing, but it could be a penis thing - lacking the plumbing, I'm putting a lot of guess work in here). Many times this is done by manipulation with hands - directly on the package, or perhaps via the pocket. However, there are various squat and knee flapping motions that seem to do the job. Nary a day goes by at work when I am forced to be in the same room with this behavior. I'm convinced that it's completely unconsciously done, but it is a habit that we should socialize our boys to resist. EssBee and I were watching tv the other night and a tv personality did that exact thing ON NATIONAL TELEVISION (I think it was Jon Stewart, but it could have been John Hodgman - I don't want to out the wrong man, so don't take my word for it). I wonder what would happen if we ladies (may be the wrong choice of word) adjusted ourselves every time our bras pinched or the girls wanted to break free.

Today I was wearing a shirt that was cut so that it was just above showing cleavage. I usually wear this shirt backwards, as I do not like to flash tit in any situation, leastwise at work. I forgot to do that today, so I had easy access to the girls. Both my workmates had adjusted themselves in my office earlier in the day (one with direct contact and the other with his typical knee flapping), so I thought I was due an adjustment. In the middle of the staff meeting, I put my pointer finger in my bra (right between the gals) and just rubbed it up the center - pulling my shirt up, making sure it was covering everything (adjusting the girls to make sure they were in place). The one workmate who was talking stuttered and lost his thought and I looked at the other and his eyes were stuck on my boobs. I am not burdened by hotness, so it was not a hot issue. The guys just stumbled cuz I dared to put my hands in the vicinity of my chest.

If I were to lose my place or get confused every time one of them adjusted their crotches, I would be the clumsiest person this side of the Mississippi. At least now I've completed the experiment and the results were just as I expected.

1 comment:

EssBee said...

SLY B, you are obviously over-burdened with hotness. Those nasty bastards . . .