Sunday, February 26, 2006


Oh my God, y'all. Can you believe Henry??? What is up with this guy? Or rather, what is up with Niffenegger? Could she have written a grosser protagonist? And poor Clare. Man, she is pathetic. What gets me the most is that I think she thinks we'll like them -- a lot. I think she thinks that she's written the perfect he and that Clare is the luckiest spoiled brat girl in the whole world. I say ew to the whole thing.

Henry is all-knowing, and teaches Clare in the most irritating professorial tone: "'That's called determinism,' I tell her. 'It haunts my dreams.'/ Clare is intrigued. 'Why?'/ 'Well, if you are feeling boxed in by the idea that your future is unalterable, imagine how I feel. I'm constantly running up against the fact that I can't change anything, even though I am right there, watching it'"(75).

I have to say that I still like this story. I like this book in the same way I like Dan Brown books. Great story, bad writing. Henry, yuck. Clare, yuck.

I'll give Niffenegger this: the book has the single most hilarious sex scene I've ever read. "If cunnilingus were an Olympic event I would medal, no doubt about it" (424). Wow, Henry. You are impressive . . . thank you for describing yourSELF to me in this starlighty, romantical way. My, my, but Clare is a lucky, lucky girl to have had your 40-somthing year old ass creeping around her childhood until that magical moment when she turns 18 and seduces you. "In the next fifteen minutes I take Clare several steps down the evolutionary ladder until she's pretty much a limbic core with a few cerebral cortex peripherals" (425). I say again, ew. But also, fucking ha ha ha. I can't stop laughing!

Joanne is right, this was a missed opportunity. I woke up in a cold sweat last night imagining myself forced to sit through one of Niffinegger's creative writing courses. I couldn't get back to sleep!

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