Portions of this post might have been exaggerated...but then again, maybe not...
EssBee has had her iPod for almost 2 years now. She just invested in a new one a couple weeks ago (ok, I bought it for her as a gift) cuz her old one was freezing more often than playing. She gets our money's worth in a month, believe me. This blog has a list of all the podcasts she listens to. I've become accustomed to seeing her plugged in - buds in ears and iPod clipped on. She has a little set of speakers that she uses every morning when she takes a bath, so she can listen to podcasts as she bathes. She got a new stereo in her car so she can listen to podcasts wherever she drives. When EssBee does something - she does it all the way.
I've realized recently that I'm a bit jealous of her iPod. I think they might be having an affair. Oh, it would be different if she just had an OhMiBod and used her iPod as a masturbatory tool, but I'm starting to think she would rather listen to her iPod than be with me. Clues: 1) Whenever we drive anywhere, she says, "What podcast should we listen too?!" She'd rather listen to other people talk than chat with me on the 3 hour drive to her parents. 2) I attempt to call her when she's at home and I'm not. The phone always goes to voicemail. Why? Because she has her ear buds in and can't hear the phone ring. She'd rather listen to her podcasts than talk to me on the phone. 3) When she takes a bath, she used to invite me in to sit in the sauna-like atmosphere to chat. Now, she plugs her speakers in and listens to a podcast instead. 4) The rare times when we have a weekend at home with only domestic chores to accomplish, I will be doing dishes and hear her walk into the living room. I start to chat with her about something and then 10 minutes later either she shouts, "WHAT?" or walks into the kitchen and says, "Were you talking to me?"
I'm starting to get a bit of a complex. Perhaps I'm boring after 8 years of non-marriage? Of course, we have not reached the point where she is listening to a podcast when we have sex. Once we get there, I'll know it's over. Still, damn you Scott Sigler, J.C. Hutchins, Summer Brooks, Jack Mangan, Tabz, et. al...!!!