Here's how queer I am: SLY B has been out of town since pre-crack-o'-dawn Tuesday. I'm writing this on Thursday night (after a CRAZY work dinner -- more about that unrelated news below). I'm a fairly neat person, but haven't lifted a finger since SLY B left. The floors need swept, the dishes are piling up, and the trash needs to be taken out. I am like a dude, kinda.
So today begins a loooong weekend for me at work. We have a bunch of folks in town, and I'm pretty much on from now until Sunday afternoon. I just realized that 1) the house is a little more trashed than I like it to be unless it's just us, 2) I've been talking up our newly remodeled bathroom to some of these people for a few months, and 3) they're gonna want to come over!!
I just did the following in 15 minutes: cleaned the toilet, dumped the bathroom trash, loaded the dishwasher, put the bachelor TV tray away, gathered up the beer bottles to be taken out in the morning, and vacuumed. Bring it on, ladies!! You can come over or not -- whatever you prefer. The house is always ready for guests.
Now here's the unrelated gossipy part: at a very nice dinner just now, a certain high-level company executive caused a HUUUGE scene in front of a restaurant full o' lesbians (it might have been take-a-girl-to-dinner night there -- I don't really know why all my people were there in full force tonight -- I'm full of unrealted right now). It was horrifying. Kind of like a fart in church. One of my folks jokingly told this certain person "you shouldn't have another drink" to which the certain person responded: "Don't you EVAH say something like that to me again!!!" top of lungs and standing. Certain person continued, still standing: "That is the kind of comment that makes me want to line up 4 or 5 shots. Kris, are you in?" In my head I thought, "fuck, sure!" In my voice I said, "hahahahaha, you're nuts." The ENTIRE restaurant stopped and stared, and certain person said, turning around, "WHAT??? She was trying to tell me how much to drink!!" Good times, y'all, good times. Remember, I get paid to do this.